Thursday, 5 September 2013

How To Survive University Whilst Being in a Relationship



It's that time of year again when people are preparing to go back to school, college and university and it seems that so many bloggers are doing posts on how to save money, how to survive freshers, essentials to take and different looks/hairstyles to impress. I thought I would do something I've not seen before and blog from experience and share my story and offer some tips on how to survive university if you're in a relationship and you're both going to different universities. 

(Us at the beginning)

My Story
I met my boyfriend pretty much the first week of college, we became friends for a month or so and then we decided to become 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. We had the same friendship group so we spent the majority of our time together be that alone or hanging out with our friends. By the time we applied for university my boyfriend knew he wanted to stay at home, as did I, however it turned out that Hull university (where we live) only did Primary Teaching in Scarborough (an hour away) but that is what I wanted to do so I knew I would have to move. 
As the time came nearer the fact that I would be moving sank it. We'd had the best summer ever and then we knew we were going to be apart. We were 18 and had been together for 2 years, a lot of people said we wouldn't last, we'd drift apart etc but we proved them wrong and another 2 years down the line we're still here, stronger than ever. I'm not saying it wasn't hard, it bloody was but i've got some tips for you that made it that little bit easier for us and could be the reason why we've worked so well.

One of the many freshers nights out

Tip One - Communicate
This is my most important tip, ever! Communication is key to a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I aren't really 'phone' people, we much prefer to text rather than speak on the phone but you need to compromise. Skype became our best friend and scheduling time to fit in a skype chat really made a difference. It is also important to talk about any problems, rather than build them up otherwise when you see each other next those bad feelings rear their ugly little heads. As I had moved out and my boyfriend stayed at home, during the first few weeks I was going out whilst my boyfriend hadn't started university yet so didn't know anyone this caused a few problems but we spoke about them and sorted the issue there and then.

Tip Two - Be Considerate
This follows on from tip one, be considerate to how the other is feeling. During the first few weeks I knew my boyfriend was struggling seeing me going out and enjoying myself with all my new friends whilst he was at home not knowing any body. So I invited him to stay for a few days, introduced him to my housemates (all 32 of them!) and we went out as a whole group and had the time of our lives. Introducing each other to your new friends is a good way to avoid jealousy and gives you a better understanding of who they might be talking about.

One night in freshers with my friends & boyfriend

Tip Three - Be Interested
So and So did this, then we did that, and it was amazing... blah, blah, blah. Sometimes it's pretty hard to be interested when it seems like one of you is showing off, especially when you're not involved but just remember that there will be times when you might be showing off and your boyfriend isn't interested. So even if you're not interested, ask a few questions and then change the subject. It's so hard when you've had a shitty day and all your boyfriend can talk about is his lovely new life, not thinking to ask about you but sometimes your boyfriend may feel like that too so remember tip two.

Tip Four - Make Plans and Do Things
One thing I will tell you is depending on the location of your university, university houses/flats/halls can be pretty boring during the day. So if you've arranged a visit make sure you make plans, visit places and have fun. This is extremely important if like us, one of you lives away and the other lives at home as the person who lives at home may feel like you can't have fun together anymore if he sees you having fun with your friends during the week but then you have nothing to do when they are around. Visit new places together and create memories that you wouldn't normally have the chance to create. Make the best of a bad situation and go out and enjoy yourselves.

Tip Five - Surprises and Romance
Romance and surprises are such a lovely idea but many people aren't very romantic or find it hard to arrange things when the people involved are so far apart. During our time at university I have surprised my boyfriend a few times by travelling home without his knowledge. The first time my friends wanted to come to Hull to watch the christmas lights being switched on, so my friend said she'd take me along and pick up my boyfriend. I'd arranged with his mum that he'd be in and he was so surprised. I stayed the whole weekend and we had such a lovely time. The next time was Valentines day and this time I arranged it with his friends. So if you're planning surprises get in contact with those closest to your boyfriend and girlfriend and just think outside the box.


So this is us now, on our way to Liverpool for a night away! We only have one year left at university and then we'll have all the time in the world. If you're serious about each other then university doesn't have to be the end of the road. Yes, it's hard and yes, it takes work but in the grand scheme of things this could just be 3 years out of your entire life together and when you put it like that it really doesn't seem that long.

If you have any questions or just want a chat then feel free to email me: megan1993b@gmail.com or follow me on twitter: @studentstylexo and i'll be happy to answer anything.

xo

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6 comments

  1. Love all of the tips you have compiled here!completely agree and trying to put yourself in the other persons shoes is most important! I studied abroad for a year and it was the hardest thing i ever did,at one point we went 5 months without seeing each other but it makes your relationship so much stronger and you dont take the time spent together for granted :) lovely post! Xx
    www.sleek-chic.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Wow, 5 months. I'm not sure we could do that. But I agree, the time you do spend together is so nice xo

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  2. Great advice and long distance relationship can certainly work. I was in a long distance relationship for nearly two years - and in totally different countries too(post university) and it was a struggle at times but we're certainly a lot strong for it and living together and happily married.

    Great blog btw!

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    1. Different countries, that must have been hard! That's lovely to hear, just goes to prove how long distance can work xo

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  3. I only wish I found this 2 years ago! hehe I was so worried when I was heading into my last year at sixth form in Durham but my boyf of 2 years was heading to leeds metropolitan, at the time I was worried he would be meeting other girls getting new friends and being too busy for me, but we worked It out, now we are both at the university and still going strong! He goes on work placement in London next year and me the year after when he goes back to finish his final year (placement years) so fingers crossed e keep going, good luck to you both, thanks for this uplifting post lovely :) xx

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    1. Aw i'm so glad you enjoyed it :)! It's such a hard time but i've spoke to so many people who got through it and i'm sure you won't be any different :). Good luck with uni and to your boyfriend, I wish you the best of luck xx

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